![]() There are many fathers in the Bible, but very few moments of fatherhood. David has many kids, though he allows his family to fall into disarray and fratricide (2 Sam. 13-18). Abraham almost sacrifices Isaac (Gen. 22:1-19) and abandons Ishmael (Gen. 21:8-21). Joseph is a protective father to Jesus, but he prematurely disappears (Mat. 1:18-25; Luke 2:41-52). But there is one father who appears as a fairly regular presence over a long period and overall is a good dad: Laban. In case you forgot about him, Laban is the brother of Rebekah, who married Isaac (Gen. 24:29). He is the father of Leah and Rachel (Gen. 29:16). Now, he isn’t an upstanding person for most of the story. He tricks Jacob into marrying Leah after promising Rachel and forces him to work an extra seven years, 14 in total (Gen. 29:25-30). He attempts to keep Jacob and his family close to profit from them (Gen. 30:27). When they do flee, he chases them down and is kept from doing something violent thanks to God’s intervention (Gen. 31:22-24). But let’s turn the story around and see things from Laban’s side. He invites in his nephew, who is on the run from an abusive situation at home (Gen. 27:41-45). When he learns that Jacob is in love with his daughter, he sets forth a task to test Jacob’s resolve and work ethic. After all, he doesn’t really know anything about this young man (Gen. 29:15-20). When Jacob passes the test with flying colors, Laban decides to trick him into marrying Leah. Perhaps he saw Jacob’s success and knew he would be a good caretaker for both daughters and that keeping him close would be helpful to the entire tribe (Gen. 29:21-28). When Jacob wants to return to his parents, Laban attempts to set a fair price for Jacob’s work that will keep him around for some time yet, giving Laban more time with his daughters and grandchildren (Gen. 30:25-34). He doesn’t become upset until Jacob tricks him in the payment of his wages and then runs away with his family and Laban’s gods (Gen. 31:1-21). (Jacob didn’t know Rachel stole the gods.) Laban chases them in anger for a week until God warns him not to resort to violence (Gen. 31:22-24). Still angry, Laban confronts Jacob. After a series of conversations and his failure to find the gods (Rachel was tricky too), Laban and Jacob come to an understanding (Gen. 31:25-55). Laban promises to let them go in peace and respect boundaries, and Jacob promises to be a good and protective husband and father. Laban then kisses his daughters and grandchildren and departs (Gen. 31:55). Is Laban perfect? By no means! He is controlling, making decisions based on his own needs and wants, and doesn’t take into consideration others’ opinions. He is untrustworthy and untrusting (those two often go together) and is frightening enough that Jacob feels he needs to flee while Laban is away from camp (Gen. 31:20). However, he is also a good dad who is looking out for the best for his whole family, not favoring one child over another. He has his eye on the future and wants to ensure that his loved ones are cared for even when he can’t. He loves his daughters and his grandchildren and wants the best for them, even if it hurts him. And he gave a down-on-his-luck kid a chance to thrive. Fatherhood is complicated and messy. Dads sometimes make the wrong decisions out of good intentions and acceptable concerns. Laban is a good example of what can go right and wrong. Dads need to learn to balance their instinct to protect with their children’s need to grow. They must not only be approachable when it comes to difficult matters but extend that trust to others. And when that day comes when their children fall in love and leave the nest, they can be present as a friend, advisor, and dad as needed, and a watcher from a distance at other times. A Happy Father’s Day to all dads. May you walk well in the messiness that is fatherhood and be the best dad you can be.
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January 2025
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